Source: Stillness In The Storm | by: Justin Deschamps
Sharing information with others is usually one of the first things we want to do after starting to wake up. But knowing the path and walking the path are two different things.
The following is an article detailing some general techniques for sharing the truth along with some things to avoid.
Awakening to Truth
The truth is transformative and belligerent by nature—it doesn't care about our feelings or emotions, it comes in and shakes us to our foundations. As a result, when we share our truth with others we offer them an opportunity to change but they don't have to accept it—and often they won't. By this I mean, we can't really wake someone else up, we can't force them to see what we see or to understand what we do. All we can do is offer then a chance to unlock the truth for themselves, and this requires patience and collective participation.
A present or gift is a good analogy.
A Gift of Truth
We can take the time to think carefully about what someone wants. We can spend hours shopping for that perfect thing, wrapping it with beautiful paper and introducing it in a nice way. But in the end, the person we give this to has to accept it. They have to tear open the wrapping paper, peel back the plastic and explore its contents for themselves.
Sharing the truth is the same way, at best, we're only presenting something that someone can either accept or refuse—and this fact should not be overlooked—even though it often is.
Sharing the Truth Anecdote
Early on in my truth sharing adventures, I foolishly thought that if I could only "data dump" someone, they would know what I do and be empowered. And I certainly tried this approach with everyone I met.
I was the "I'm going to change your life in 5 minutes guy." If I didn't cause your mind to explode and invigorate your lust for freedom and truth, I considered myself a total failure.
At the time, I was working in a call center for Aol Tech support with over 60 people in my queue. I was speaking to colleagues and customers every day, looking for any chance I could to inject my beliefs in, often without invitation. I am sure most will agree that this method isn't very effective. What I learned is that out of the hundreds of people I spoke to, only a handful—literally—were willing to listen to me, and that was probably because they were already on their own path of awakening.
After feeling like a complete and total failure, I decided to go back to my roots of psychology to understand what was happening. I quickly realized that the source of my problems was not because I didn't have good information to share, or because I lacked drive and motivation, it was because I didn't have their consent—the person wasn't opening the gift of truth I spent so many hours wrapping.
And admittedly, I didn't nurture a calm, loving space to receive this gift, which resulted in self-defensive reactions of close-mindedness and fear. I was acting more like a truth fundamentalist instead of a kindhearted partner in the quest for gaining knowledge and wisdom.
Shattering Someone's Worldview and Beliefs
After some research, I realized that a person's worldview or belief system is the basis for their perception of reality, which is put at risk by receiving new information. The mere act of being exposed to novel concepts, ideas and information have a powerful effect on someone's consciousness, and this should not be taken lightly—especially when the truth I was trying to share was worldview shattering.
What if someone walked up to you and said they had information that would completely change your views of reality? What if the beliefs that keep you feeling safe and secure were threatened by someone else's point of view? In essence, this is exactly what sharing the truth does, especially the information that the awakening community or truther movement is trying to transmit.
Due to the fact that trauma is usually the first thing we experience when coming into this world, followed by a lifetime of countless hardships and social pressures, most of us have developed a very closed-minded and rigid worldview as a defense mechanism. Furthermore, through social engineering techniques or mass-mind control, we've been trained to fear anything that does not seem "normal" or socially acceptable. Critical thinking and honest inquiry have been stamped out in favor of blind belief in experts and authorities. All of this ensures that the vast majority of the population is not intellectually or emotionally equipped to handle information that doesn't resonate with their beliefs. Therefore, the process of sharing consciousness expanding information must take into account an individual's capacity to receive it.
Psychology of Communication and Fearful Reactions
Psychologically, the mind can't receive new information (in a productive way) in a state of fear. Even if a few nuggets of data do make it through, they won't be contemplated or understood very well. By this I mean, in our desire to share our truths, we can't become like a religious fundamentalist, we must be the perfect parent who unselfishly provides love and support—regardless if our truth is accepted or not. In this way, the individual's fear of social rejection or abandonment can be healed, slowly developing a space of unconditional love where curiosity and inquisitiveness can blossom.
Sharing a truth someone has already refused to accept typically causes a defense response, and do to social programming, most of the truths we want to share have already been labeled as "conspiracy theory BS." But fear responses can be triggered by other queues as well. Fear responses must be recognized so that productive discourse can take place.
During a fear response, the R-complex or hindbrain goes into action, flooding the body with a chemical soup of fear (epinephrine), pulling blood away from the neocortex (the thinking rational brain), and filling our body with adrenaline so as to take action. This creates an environmental condition in the body that greatly limits an individual's capacity to think rationally—a state of emotional turbulence that triggers traumatic defensiveness. As a result, any truth we want to share that causes this reaction will be avoided, denied, or rejected with the same intensity one uses to defend themselves from attack—because to them, they are being attacked.
A topic or subject matter can automatically trigger a defensive reaction we're discussing, but not in all cases. For example, have you ever tried to tell a doctor about cures for cancer? As soon as they know what you are about to say, their defenses usually go up and once that happen's it will be almost impossible to break through them. This can be incredibly frustrating and often causes us to feel invalidated, triggering anger and resentment—neither of which will help the situation. When we notice ourselves feeling defensive, angry or unkind as a result of someone's reaction to our sharing, arguably the best course of action is to stop and walk away. Allow the subject to change or simply move on knowing you did your best, and learn from what happened so you can be more tactical in the future.
Furthermore, communication is 80% non-verbal, which is another way of saying subtle and emotional. Our emotional states are communicated via subtle physiological processes that another person's subconscious can easily detect. The tone of our voice, our body language, even the clothes we wear, all send subtle messages to the subconscious, the part of our mind that is responsible for triggering different states of being. In other words, if you are angry, judgmental, intolerant or lack confidence, someone else will pick up on this and react accordingly. Before you even open your mouth to say hello, a person's subconscious can be triggered into a defensive reaction by way of your emotional state—if it is not harmonious.
All these things and more can complicate and completely derail our efforts to awaken others. And as mentioned earlier, this feedback often makes us feel disillusioned and unmotivated. Anyone who's tried to share information they were passionate about but didn't feel like they were heard knows how much of a blow this can do to our sense of well-being, and our desire to continue the outer work.
Build Loving Relationships of Safety
What's the solution?
As the below article implies, it's all about patience, compassion, and creating a space of unselfish love for the other person—and yourself. I know these things might sound like hippie-love talk, but as we just discussed, someone in a fear state isn't capable of processing new information properly—their brain literally isn't firing in a way that says "yes I want to know!" And it's this genuine curiosity that is needed in order for the truth we want to share to have a meaningful impact.
Therefore, the first goal of any truth sharing process is to develop rapport or a relationship where the other person feels safe or vulnerable enough to receive what we're offering. There are many techniques for achieving this but generally speaking, because people are not educated on how to think critically or logically, developing emotional rapport is a great place to start.
In short, you can't share intellectual knowledge with a child who can't understand these things. And the plain truth is that most people are like mental children, they simply lack the capacity to think logically and rationally—not that this makes them any less human or worthy of our wisdom.
For example, instead of firing off your nuggets of truth right away, develop a truly loving and accepting relationship. Ask a person what their interests are and share information in those areas first. And always do so in a non-confrontational way. The more genuine you are in developing this relationship—the more you actually care about another person's well-being and emotional state— the firmer the emotional foundation developed through your interactions and the more likely that someone will feel calm enough to consider your wisdom.
Also take care to let someone's curiosity develop freely. If we're feverishly pounding ideas into someone's head too quickly, even if they are open to them it is not likely they'll have a chance to become curious. But it is that inner desire for more understanding (curiosity) that allows new information to be explored and integrated in a productive way. Without this internal drive, data received will become a random fact with little or no meaning.
Allowing someone to discover the mysteries of life and explore them like a child explores the world is the ideal state of being we should be trying to cultivate. All of this takes time and patience, often meaning the topic or data point you want so much to share won't be delivered until that person is genuinely interested. But once that happens, the feeling of inspiration both you and another experience during such an exchange will be far more rewarding for all involved—not to mention the fact that it will honor their free will.
Loving Others Unselfishly to Provide Emotional Security
We need to make them feel safe and accepted regardless of what they do—even if they reject our truth, this is what true unconditional love is all about. And in most cases, you'll be the first person to ever love them unselfishly, which takes time to come to terms with.
One way to do this is to listen to someone else before trying to share. Often just truly hearing to someone honestly makes them feel loved and accepted—it doesn't really matter what they are talking about either. In other words, we need to offer emotional healing in the form of unselfish love first, and then once the heart is healed, the mind will open—but not before.
What do I mean by unselfish love? I say that we want to let others know we love and accept them, even if they reject our truth. Even if they react defensively, and call us names, we should do our best to love them just as much as a mother loves their child. The more we do this the greater the emotional support that is provided and the more openness is engendered.
Sharing Truth in a Way that Honor's Free Will
All of this is a process of honoring another person's free will, sharing our wisdom in a harmless and humble way.
Ultimately the goal of all truth sharing is to provide knowledge in the form and measure someone is capable of receiving. It the art of attenuation, wherein, data is shared in the conceptual language with which a person is able of understanding it. Laying the foundation for attenuation is the art of gauging someone's receptiveness, their willingness to listen, which as was said earlier, requires emotional rapport. From here, sharing data or information itself can be done, but in a way that is tailor-made for that person.
This method requires that you—the person with knowledge—knows it very well. You should understand your truth so clearly that you can look at it from 1000 different sides and present it in a unique way for each person—always looking for signs so as to gauge their willingness to listen.
Be Patient and Wise
Finally, and this one is hard for some to accept, you don't have to share all your truth all at once.
Did you come to know everything you do now in 10 minutes? Were you completely open minded when your awakening began? Probably not.
The fact is, most of us spent the majority of our lives avoiding the truth or being blissfully ignorant of it, and when it was offered, we were in a state of rejection. I know I did. Given this, can we really expect others to act differently?
Sometimes the best thing you can do to help others in the awakening experience is not to share your truth—yet.
As was mentioned earlier, building rapport and a positive nurturing relationship is key for productive truth sharing. And this sometimes means holding off on your passionate truths till another person is ready.
Be wise with your sharings. Learn how to read body language and determine when someone's mind has been closed and their just being polite by listening to you. Learn to tell when you are triggered and spend the time needed to regain composure before sharing the truth. Remember, if the emotional foundation isn't there, if both of you don't feel loved and supported, it probably won't be a productive exchange.
As a final note, I often remind myself that waking up to the truth is like climbing a mountain. Everyone's on the same mountain together, but there are many paths to the top. The farther you progress, the more you can see. Sometimes people wait around half way up before finding the courage to continue on, and that's OK. The mountain will always be there. A seed can't be forced to grow; it does so only when the season is right.
The truth is an infinitely large and expansive thing that transcends everything we can imagine. It waited all your life for you to find it, with all the patience of the universe to draw from. And so, in our efforts to share the truth we must be patient, compassionate and wise like the truth.
The fact that our friends and fellows fuel the matrix of control makes us feel that sharing the truth itself is a defensive action, and in a way it is. But if someone isn't willing to hear it, we can't force them to. When faced with this situation, the better option is to defend oneself from the harmful actions of others using honorable and non-aggressive means. The price of direct confrontation with someone often means the pathway of sharing is now closed.
I say this because I don't want to imply that we must be passive when dealing with our ignorant fellows who agree to tyranny and slavery without knowing it. The path of the razor's edge comes to mind, in that, our task as awakened and sovereign beings is to honor the truth and stop harm when we see it, but at the same time not harm others in the process. Patience is required here as often we don't know the best way to stop harm without also causing more problems in the future, and yet we need to be willing to try and learn from our experiences as we navigate through life's challenges.
So don't be afraid to share your truth or stop someone from harming others if need be. Just do so with compassion and knowing that everyone is always doing the best they can with what they have to work with.
With a little love and farsightedness, even the hardest truths can be shared. One of the best ways to show others the wisdom of the truth is to embrace it fully ourselves, leading by example and showing others through wise action what a life of truth-seeking has to offer.
The preceding text is a Stillness in the Storm original creation. Please share freely.