19 Looking Holy Spirit right in the Eye 030617
(“Burning Bush” on Operation Disclosure)
While I have been suffering a bully narcissist’s emotional Blackmail, all my attention became focused on that problem, so the more I focused on the problem as a real me-problem, the more I needed to focus on the Love, and Holy Spirit forgiveness nurturing inside me. It’s a miracle to change this focus into Holy Spirit, instead of playing the hostage victim, like I did as a helpless pouting child.
One second I was thinking of all the awful changes that I would regret, and the next second, I could see how much God-Loves me to help me sell my house, and find a pleasant environment to enjoy a new congruence for all the Loving miracles that are filling my new mind of delight. The instant I made an appointment with a realtor, and during our first conversation, so much gratitude confirmed my motive to allow this other ‘problem’ the same Sovereignty we would both achieve, from getting out of each other’s family physical-role tangled-lair.
I acted without my usual need to discuss my new plans, and that, alone served as a new Sovereign intention, then once the commitment to get the house ready for an appraisal in a few days, I discovered a new idea from an older experience of living in another intentional community, like my Avalon House I formed many years ago. Everyone cheered one day in 1987, when I came home, and told them I had been let go from a therapy job, and when I was weirded out from their jubilee, they told me this validates my Love doesn’t fit there any more. My supervisor admitted she read my client notes, and cried, herself, and gave me all my client options to follow me, because she wouldn’t know how to continue with ‘whatever it is that I do to Love Listen nurture with acceptance.’
I remember facing huge 7 foot waves coming in between two islands, that looked like galloping horses stampeding toward our little yellow boat I made, so I calmly said we can make it, as long as we, both imagine this yellow banana peel is a surfboard packed with styrofoam, so no matter what happens we will always remember this adventure with a Loving humor. Sometimes I looked straight up at my friend and some times I looked straight down at my friend, and neither of us had time to focus back on our fear, because we were, actually having too much recovery-fun inside-focused on the trust for each other’s willingness to accept Love-miracles.
My way of “The Burning Bush” life scares normal people used to the Blackmail infrastructure Matrix, where everyone takes hostages in relationships, and pretends Blackmail-hate is Love. When base-gender gets indignant, and says “Grow Up” it means another Blackmailer is losing their hostage, when someone wants their Sovereignty back. I see ‘banana-peel surfing’ while the Matrix judges ‘sinking boaters’, and I see others focused on living in their past, co-creating that same future, while stuck gender sees we can make better-behaved hostages out of our precious Creative-children.
My idea is to take each turn of events, one at a time and see where Love is calling to me, from inside this living miracle experience, but at the, very least I will get a new half-priced country-home on the Ocean, where I can look up at the stars, and see my idea of Effulgence reflecting my Love for Light deep inside my Sovereign-need for well-deserved miracle-congruence. God is hurting when I’m hurting, like I’m hurting when other hostages are hurting, yet God Loves me so much, that, now I can, finally Trust banana-peel Love-surfing inside, more than mirror-double everything Love isn’t, outside, that quickly judges me right back, as fast as I transfer my own childhood sinking-boat self-judgements.
030617 Avalon House Sept 1987 to Sept 1988
A space for Spiritual growth, and wellness to learn self-love. One Sacred Space to participate together in rituals of self expression, singing, chanting, meditation, dancing, and other creative processes. A place to live, and share to learn to strengthen commitment to The One True Self. The process involves open-ness and validation of the full range of emotions, and encourages intimacy, and bonding Delight in Communion.
We share consensus decision making. We eat together and offer privacy in living as well. We share in a fair economic situation, where no extra effort goes unacknowledged. As we participate, the center will strengthen in healing ONENESS Love, and simultaneously each member will benefit with their Sovereign healing ONENESS inside their, own Love-center.
The core group lives at the center, and associate members from outside the residence participate regularly in most of the rituals. Associate members may be leaders of any particular event, so they can feel a real sense of belonging and fitting in. The core group meets as a closed group in order to process business, and experiences.
Our hope is to serve the highest good with the unique qualities we each bring with us, and to become Lighter, and more creative. We do rituals to create a flow of ever-new Joy, to Awaken cognitive Acuity Awareness, and increase creativity in ONENESS Spirit Conscience Truth-beauty inner Peace of Self-Love acceptance.
We serve in the general community with programs, and learn to reach out and share our center effectively. We commit to a balance of vulnerable self-disclosure, and affirming Delight responsive acceptance, from Love Listening in Holy Spirit forgiveness nurturing, from within our ONENESS Sovereign True Self.
Our core-8 welcomed 20 members 3 times per week out of a 75 total member support, as we performed weddings, pot luck dinners, Reiki, yoga, tai chi, psychodramas, private therapies, and a host of all the Holistic Studies and Healing Arts, along with the healthiest foods, and healthiest intentional community ONENESS intention, that are popping up, all over the World in a Lovely telempathic creative-intelligent Synchronicity.
Dreamer Pine Cone Beautiful
Love Listening Focus Within
About the Author
I “Love” to Admit it 11/22/16
I “Love" to admit it, but I have been captivated by the constant Blackmail battering of this Child-sacrificing malevolent World, so that I ‘want’ to surrender to Holy Spirit, by turning within, as a new humble priority. Sex-slavery robbed me of my soul, as a child, yet once I realized everything difficult, that happens enhances my devotion to turn even, more within ONENESS Spirit Conscience forgiveness nurturing, instead.
I fought like Hell to work, very hard for Money to, barely survive, but after a few years of meditation, and forgiveness prayers to Holy Spirit, to do the difficult forgiveness of others, as myself, more money came to me from Spirit, right through other benevolent Sources, than I ever, even knew about, before surrender. I “Love” to admit that Money doesn’t come from hard work, or social-norm Blackmail, but comes from Source, just like everything else, we need to ‘thrive’, instead of, ‘barely survive’ in addiction to this Child-sacrificing malevolent World.
After losing connection to my, own Conscience, I have become a kinder feeling empath, and a constant seeming mistaken threat to others suffering, just like me, before I sat down, closed my eyes, and meditated my suffering ass off. Like kindness comes from within Spirit devotion, so too, does being able to feel again, without letting those ephemeral duties control my reactive behaviors any more. Money, kindness, and feelings come from turning within, to ask for help to forgive all my captors that, still suffer much tortuous regret for forcing me, to do things out of fear, that no Child would, ordinarily want to do.
After annihilation traumas of the lower fourth dimensional ‘murky unkind’, everything outside triggered my reaction to live in the past swamp, ‘as if’, so, as I became more addicted to the outside Illusion of, more fear piled up onto, more traumas, I “Love” to admit that, with a gift of desperation, I became a, very willing candidate to surrender to something else, besides this unholy smelling foul-World of sulfur-predator crap. Now I see, all suffering evidence, as a gift from ONENESS to have compassion, and Mercy for, all who, still haven’t turned within to receive Money out of nowhere, and become a kinder feeling person, instead.
I am more sensitive to Blackmail than I have, ever realized, and even that’s a gift now, because I used to blame myself, ‘as if’, all evil was my fault, but NOTHING can, ever be further from the Truth. I was a beautiful innocent Child, and I, still am, inside, no matter what I used to think, and no matter what constant Blackmail, still wants to make me feel that lost-soul way. Blackmail is a constant battering here in Karmic Hologram miming-mirror Earth Paradigm, and who knew; before I turned within, where enlightening compassion makes me feel like a ‘kind kid’ with pocket treasures full of Sparkling Golden innocent-kaleidoscope perceptions again?
When I surrendered to Holy Spirit, Money was the furthest thing from my new mind of Delight, and I, certainly was convinced, that I would, never become a kinder feeling empath, ever again. Getting old had become a ‘given’, but turning within has made, even gettin-gold a ‘variable’ out of my getting younger now, every time Holy Spirit welcomes me inside, where eternal youth commands, all kinder feeling empathic Mountain Top kindergarteners.
Money, Holy Spirit, my soul, kinder feeling empath, forgiveness, my Conscience, compassion, Mercy, my Inner Child Spirit, eternal youth, the willingness to face outside Blackmail with a new motive to serve, with the, very “Love” that I have to admit, all these Wonderful gifts from within nurturing, that replaces any more outside need for what, best can be defined as needy-ransom soul-selling Blackmail=Burnout.
Inner-Child Spirit Safe-Home, within
author Pine Cone