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Restored Republic via a GCR Update as of May 27 2018 Compiled 27 May 12:31 am EST by Judy Byington, MSW, LCSW, ret. CEO, Child Abuse Recov...

Friday, February 24, 2017

Physical-role Karma Conflagration by Pine Cone

5 Physical-role Karma Conflagration 022317

“One Wing Butterfly” Dec 12, 2006, ten+ years ago

During the sex-slave torture of our murderous family experiences, if my brother had died, I would not have made it through. Two different colored wings, Skip was brown and I was blue, could attach and fly together temporarily deep inside where it was safe. Since we only had each other, I continually concerned myself with his welfare. So Skip was always in the forefront in my mind, and this intense focus on him, medicated my feelings, even when we weren’t together attached, addicted, and barely fluttering around together, not so comforted, really.

I imagine a couple of mad dogs trapped in a cage, hungry, growl-y, and miserable, and every once in a neglected while, a parent would come by and poke us viciously with a stick. We hated each other and yet we were, absolutely codependent to survive. This became our base level of ‘nurturing’, and I know that I continually use focusing on others like we did together, combined with an intense need to resent, and heavy with that overwhelming spice, guilt, in order to not remember the pain and fear, that I am going through right now.

Oh, what a beautiful idea to have prayed to have my resentment, fear, and guilt taken away, but now, with this new life space, “I hear that train a’coming, again”. I have started choosing more serene people to be around, and I can’t do codependent caretaking and focus on their problems as I did with my brother, Skip. All these years, I have avoided this new memory and the awful feelings that are coming with it down the tracks. When I saw the trauma coming as a child waiting (they made us wait for it), my inside mantra was “I’ll never be the same again”. That’s all I know so far and it seems like a pretty scary clue.

I see God ready to grow me another blue wing; I’m pretty much off anyone else’s merry-go-round, and I have my support system strong and in place. This waiting, though, seems like before, when that little boy knew “I’ll never be the same again”. I’m scared, I’m hurtin-for-certain, and I’m glad I can share by writing here, just where I am, because this is what it takes sometimes to become becoming.

I had a couple of weeks of Sovereign-joy and euphoria and I’m grateful that God got me ready for this. The last seven winter solstices, I looked deeper in the long dark days for the thing in me that I could replace with Love and faith. It seems natural and in rhythm, and is what Christmas means to me. Seeking inside for Christ Conscience, believing transformative spirituality, and becoming more one with God is my long range intention. Whatever threat gets off that train is nothing, compared with my innocent intention to heal.

Flutter By

Love belong in the heart of flow
Wings Divine our grand design
Peace the wind from heart of joy
Color me brightly so delight me

A place to land swivel hinges
Rest a while sing soft butterfly
A trill in my compass points me
Toward a Peace of gentle Grace

What journey of World supports
Our wings and old destinations
Back and forth in loves’ migration
Specks of Peace in blue sky eyes

Such a body with light as wings
Disappears in the world so busy
The part of me knows it’s there
The part of it that flutters by

Ten Years Burning to this Present-telling revelation

How can we improve asking God to help us let go of playing physical gender roles by thanking ONENESS Spirit Conscience first, as if our own Sovereign brilliance were, already freeing our innocence from our Karmic Mirror-doubles burning away the infrastructure of separation suffering? Would we find a way to be grateful for the Burning Bush that sacrifices whatever we pretend holds us apart in the same conflagration, that burns our Karma up from the inside out?

Can we become grateful for disappearing up in smoke, minus the Karmic mirror lifetime-lines that support Space/Time continuum’s Soul-spinning ridicule, far from Holy Spirit’s forgiveness nurturing of Immortal Love, so filled with human shadows. What needy leader wants to burn in the same fire that replaces physical-roles with freedom from dire need to project the disappearance of everything leaders most despise in others about themselves, but only in others, so willing to follow the rules of soulless Karmic-gender physical-sheep?

Can I disappear into this conflagration, that frees my mirror doubles from having to appear with me over, and over in such physical-habit Karmic divisive-gender role-reversal confusion, without one glimpse from inside our own Sovereign Delight of Immortality rising? Please help us God, to let go of all denied Immortal Love that awaits to burn away all Mortal intention to follow the suffering rules dying on the vine, as the Karmic physical-role infrastructure of the our own self-damnation collective anvil-pounding need for Usury inner-child sacrifice, without such ONENESS Spirit Conscience firing toward our Spiritual Sovereign Coherent Brilliance?

What is this Burning Bush appearing from the inside out but a butterfly’s migration perspective back and forth in Love’s conflagration Immortal translation, from such a deep drink of any thirsty flutterby welcome perception? Are we Mortals helpless one winged butterflies, still flying around caterpillar towers, more like Karmic-worms chasing our tails, still split-soul in our physical-role addiction to, never leave behind our past flapping skin, still attached to the Mortal tree of physical-habit Matrix future, so victimizer blind-gender howling-mirror victim deaf/unruly unkind/unknowing, present unreally?

Timeless Tesla Tyger Pine Cone
1 Blakey Wakey Burning Bright

Auguries of Innocence


To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage
A Dove house filld with Doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thr' all its regions
A dog starvd at his Masters Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State
A Horse misusd upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear
A Skylark wounded in the wing
A Cherubim does cease to sing
The Game Cock clipd & armd for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright
Every Wolfs & Lions howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul
The wild deer, wandring here & there
Keeps the Human Soul from Care
The Lamb misusd breeds Public Strife
And yet forgives the Butchers knife
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that wont Believe
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbelievers fright
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belovd by Men
He who the Ox to wrath has movd
Shall never be by Woman lovd
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spiders enmity
He who torments the Chafers Sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night
The Catterpiller on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mothers grief
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar
The Beggars Dog & Widows Cat
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat
The Gnat that sings his Summers Song
Poison gets from Slanders tongue
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envys Foot
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artists Jealousy
The Princes Robes & Beggars Rags
Are Toadstools on the Misers Bags
A Truth thats told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent
It is right it should be so
Man was made for Joy & Woe
And when this we rightly know
Thro the World we safely go
Joy & Woe are woven fine
A Clothing for the soul divine
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine
The Babe is more than swadling Bands
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made & Born were hands
Every Farmer Understands
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity
This is caught by Females bright
And returnd to its own delight
The Bleat the Bark Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heavens Shore
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of Death
The Beggars Rags fluttering in Air
Does to Rags the Heavens tear
The Soldier armd with Sword & Gun
Palsied strikes the Summers Sun
The poor Mans Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Africs Shore
One Mite wrung from the Labrers hands
Shall buy & sell the Misers Lands
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole Nation sell & buy
He who mocks the Infants Faith
Shall be mockd in Age & Death
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall neer get out
He who respects the Infants faith
Triumphs over Hell & Death
The Childs Toys & the Old Mans Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons
The Questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to Reply
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesars Laurel Crown
Nought can Deform the Human Race
Like to the Armours iron brace
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow
A Riddle or the Crickets Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply
The Emmets Inch & Eagles Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will neer Believe do what you Please
If the Sun & Moon should Doubt
Theyd immediately Go out
To be in a Passion you Good may Do
But no Good if a Passion is in you
The Whore & Gambler by the State
Licencd build that Nations Fate
The Harlots cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old Englands winding Sheet
The Winners Shout the Losers Curse
Dance before dead Englands Hearse
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born
Every Morn and every Night
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to Endless Night
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in Night
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day

About the Author


I “Love” to Admit it 11/22/16

I “Love" to admit it, but I have been captivated by the constant Blackmail battering of this Child-sacrificing malevolent World, so that I ‘want’ to surrender to Holy Spirit, by turning within, as a new humble priority. Sex-slavery robbed me of my soul, as a child, yet once I realized everything difficult, that happens enhances my devotion to turn even, more within ONENESS Spirit Conscience forgiveness nurturing, instead.

I fought like Hell to work, very hard for Money to, barely survive, but after a few years of meditation, and forgiveness prayers to Holy Spirit, to do the difficult forgiveness of others, as myself, more money came to me from Spirit, right through other benevolent Sources, than I ever, even knew about, before surrender. I “Love” to admit that Money doesn’t come from hard work, or social-norm Blackmail, but comes from Source, just like everything else, we need to ‘thrive’, instead of, ‘barely survive’ in addiction to this Child-sacrificing malevolent World.

After losing connection to my, own Conscience, I have become a kinder feeling empath, and a constant seeming mistaken threat to others suffering, just like me, before I sat down, closed my eyes, and meditated my suffering ass off. Like kindness comes from within Spirit devotion, so too, does being able to feel again, without letting those ephemeral duties control my reactive behaviors any more. Money, kindness, and feelings come from turning within, to ask for help to forgive all my captors that, still suffer much tortuous regret for forcing me, to do things out of fear, that no Child would, ordinarily want to do.

After annihilation traumas of the lower fourth dimensional ‘murky unkind’, everything outside triggered my reaction to live in the past swamp, ‘as if’, so, as I became more addicted to the outside Illusion of, more fear piled up onto, more traumas, I “Love” to admit that, with a gift of desperation, I became a, very willing candidate to surrender to something else, besides this unholy smelling foul-World of sulfur-predator crap. Now I see, all suffering evidence, as a gift from ONENESS to have compassion, and Mercy for, all who, still haven’t turned within to receive Money out of nowhere, and become a kinder feeling person, instead.

I am more sensitive to Blackmail than I have, ever realized, and even that’s a gift now, because I used to blame myself, ‘as if’, all evil was my fault, but NOTHING can, ever be further from the Truth. I was a beautiful innocent Child, and I, still am, inside, no matter what I used to think, and no matter what constant Blackmail, still wants to make me feel that lost-soul way. Blackmail is a constant battering here in Karmic Hologram miming-mirror Earth Paradigm, and who knew; before I turned within, where enlightening compassion makes me feel like a ‘kind kid’ with pocket treasures full of Sparkling Golden innocent-kaleidoscope perceptions again?

When I surrendered to Holy Spirit, Money was the furthest thing from my new mind of Delight, and I, certainly was convinced, that I would, never become a kinder feeling empath, ever again. Getting old had become a ‘given’, but turning within has made, even gettin-gold a ‘variable’ out of my getting younger now, every time Holy Spirit welcomes me inside, where eternal youth commands, all kinder feeling empathic Mountain Top kindergarteners.

Money, Holy Spirit, my soul, kinder feeling empath, forgiveness, my Conscience, compassion, Mercy, my Inner Child Spirit, eternal youth, the willingness to face outside Blackmail with a new motive to serve, with the, very “Love” that I have to admit, all these Wonderful gifts from within nurturing, that replaces any more outside need for what, best can be defined as needy-ransom soul-selling Blackmail=Burnout.

Inner-Child Spirit Safe-Home, within
author Pine Cone

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