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Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Love Inside Every Breath by Pine Cone

Love Inside Every Breath 040417

You couldn’t convince me as a bedraggled pouting little kid, that suffered deathly beatings, rape, and Near Death Experiences from bedraggled pouting parents, but the most Amazing Grace calls from deeper inside, than a normal bedraggled kid can, ever imagine came in waves of Love-energy to restore my expanding Soul-receiver, just as more Universal benevolence, and magnanimity shows up more, the more I was beaten down, than ever before.

I went, way past PTSD trauma, into the Inner Realm where dissociation made all the awful terror, and painful treachery go away, so I got to pretend nothing happened, as if multiple personalities became Gods greatest Gift. I became as innocent, and generous as any kind kid can, yet another aspect of dissociation met up with others, that only see the kind-generous as foolhardy, as I co-created scary mirrors with the fear coagulating within my bedraggled pouting rage-mirrors.

As I lost Trust for the whole physical World set up, to help me experience my chosen Karmic-suffering, I withdrew, and remained silent, as exponential creative intelligence became another dissociation gift from God. As I jumped out of my heart, and into my expanding new mind, ‘thinking’ took over where ‘feeling’ ended when God helped my altars suffer for me, so I could act, sort of half-normal for all the soul-thieves, that never stopped coming toward me in all my suffering mirrors.

I married my awful parent-replication wife, who had other men’s children while she claimed, later she took over the job of killing me the, only way a contemptuous woman can, and get away with picking on my self-esteem, until she became my bedraggled pouting killer-friend Death Buzzard, that I was before as a Godless-codependent Mother who turned her child into God, instead of becoming True to her-soul-self inside her own Love-lorn Lost-soul.

When my Mother/wife replacement began to beat, and abuse our/her children from other men, I took over and nurtured those children with the Love Listening, that has saved my soul again, and again. She got, so jealous with rage, that she kidnapped those poor kids, kicked me out of the house, and took everything away from the kids and me, as if everything was about her.(narcissism). She became a malignant narcissist when she almost killed little Kathy, when I couldn’t pay her ten dollars a week, from my living on the street disabled in the ole Ukrainian Mafia Satanic USA Vatican-Crown Corporation et al.

So I had become the Mother, and Father of three kids, that the Satanic MAMA Law thought would be the best way to get at our children to sacrifice, and at this crucial Time, when I lost 3 kids and our home, I depended on becoming a bedraggled pouting kid again, as if the government and my ex-wife had taken over where my BAD-parents ended their roles as my worst handlers. I surrendered completely inside to wait for the tsunami waves of Love from now advanced dissociation, and PTSD set-timing to relieve my tremendous lost children killer-grief, as if a Mother’s Worst suffering.

Holy Spirit revealed to me at this time, that ‘supporting’, or ‘fighting’ anything of this World, never works toward Love, just more Physical-disappointment, but to live a life of Spirit-beauty and Truth of Love inside, is the only way to, and toward Universal benevolence, and magnanimity. I translated what came from Spirit as the Republicans are the most support for the Democrats, because the ‘good, and evil’ fight sustains the will of resistance in both, just like I had been resisting the ‘good and evil’ within me. I have altars, and I turned my fear of them inside me to: I am grateful for my altars that took the brunt of annihilation traumas, so I began to Love Listen them just like I Mothered my Bad-wife lost children.

First one, then two alters began to trust my benevolence, so they began to trust that it was OK for me to hear what had happened for me to escape remembering our torture, until I was ready. This experience enhanced my wanting to Love Listen to others without censuring anything anyone dares to tell me.(another Gift from our Love Listening GOD) Gradually, as I experienced these terrifying memories, I became grateful for, all the ways God Loves me, so much, so my bedraggled pouting turned up my Love-receiver back into my Heart, and what a surprise for a higher IQ, than most can ever, even suffer-imagine?

Another gift comes from experience, that the higher the IQ, indicates those that suffer the worst torture from crawling up into the mind, as the ego rat fills its castle with so many places to hide away from Love, that really, really hurts more than fear, like nobody’s guilt-ridden Karmic-business. I sense how much I speak, clearly about women, and Mothers favoring the physical body over the Spiritual Love, from within, and this is, all about my Mother, and my former lifetime as an Italian man-killer wife, and Mother who, never let her near-the-Vatican-son have any life at all, separate from her own Satanic-breeder malignant narcissistic emotional Blackmail Physical-body Mother-hood gang-favor.

It’s time for me to stop bitching about Mother-replicating wives now, and start expressing as much gratitude for My Heart’s enhanced Love-receiver, that is activating the Light within the Love of all Life again, and again. Trust me; there is no more naivety left inside my soul for curmudgeon sick loyalty, and I am not the sort of unleavened-generous for thieves to see as foolhardy, but the sort of willing-enough humility to thank God for anything you throw my way, because, as I discern our synchronicity, to forgive your projected mirror-crap on me, your chance to unlearn who you are will become advanced beyond your beliefs-denied imagination.

I guess I am ready to receive more Love than ever now, so I am celebrating another turning point, just like when I surrendered deeper inside before I, even knew about this much Amazing Grace. Every Bad place in the Cabal’s Worldly-woods, has become a picnic spot to visit whenever a new paradigm shift is about to enter, to enter my open Heart for the Love of God to Trust more than ever. Thank You Holy Spirit, and God for the kind wisdom of gratitude, and for experiencing forgiveness miracles working through and for me, and for all who need to hear about Love Listening humility, without bedraggled child-pouting humiliation, too much any more…

Pine Cone Child-loving Karmic Mother-me
Child-1, 2, 3 within Mother1, 2, 3 Me-Unity

About the Author


I “Love” to Admit it 11/22/16

I “Love" to admit it, but I have been captivated by the constant Blackmail battering of this Child-sacrificing malevolent World, so that I ‘want’ to surrender to Holy Spirit, by turning within, as a new humble priority. Sex-slavery robbed me of my soul, as a child, yet once I realized everything difficult, that happens enhances my devotion to turn even, more within ONENESS Spirit Conscience forgiveness nurturing, instead.

I fought like Hell to work, very hard for Money to, barely survive, but after a few years of meditation, and forgiveness prayers to Holy Spirit, to do the difficult forgiveness of others, as myself, more money came to me from Spirit, right through other benevolent Sources, than I ever, even knew about, before surrender. I “Love” to admit that Money doesn’t come from hard work, or social-norm Blackmail, but comes from Source, just like everything else, we need to ‘thrive’, instead of, ‘barely survive’ in addiction to this Child-sacrificing malevolent World.

After losing connection to my, own Conscience, I have become a kinder feeling empath, and a constant seeming mistaken threat to others suffering, just like me, before I sat down, closed my eyes, and meditated my suffering ass off. Like kindness comes from within Spirit devotion, so too, does being able to feel again, without letting those ephemeral duties control my reactive behaviors any more. Money, kindness, and feelings come from turning within, to ask for help to forgive all my captors that, still suffer much tortuous regret for forcing me, to do things out of fear, that no Child would, ordinarily want to do.

After annihilation traumas of the lower fourth dimensional ‘murky unkind’, everything outside triggered my reaction to live in the past swamp, ‘as if’, so, as I became more addicted to the outside Illusion of, more fear piled up onto, more traumas, I “Love” to admit that, with a gift of desperation, I became a, very willing candidate to surrender to something else, besides this unholy smelling foul-World of sulfur-predator crap. Now I see, all suffering evidence, as a gift from ONENESS to have compassion, and Mercy for, all who, still haven’t turned within to receive Money out of nowhere, and become a kinder feeling person, instead.

I am more sensitive to Blackmail than I have, ever realized, and even that’s a gift now, because I used to blame myself, ‘as if’, all evil was my fault, but NOTHING can, ever be further from the Truth. I was a beautiful innocent Child, and I, still am, inside, no matter what I used to think, and no matter what constant Blackmail, still wants to make me feel that lost-soul way. Blackmail is a constant battering here in Karmic Hologram miming-mirror Earth Paradigm, and who knew; before I turned within, where enlightening compassion makes me feel like a ‘kind kid’ with pocket treasures full of Sparkling Golden innocent-kaleidoscope perceptions again?

When I surrendered to Holy Spirit, Money was the furthest thing from my new mind of Delight, and I, certainly was convinced, that I would, never become a kinder feeling empath, ever again. Getting old had become a ‘given’, but turning within has made, even gettin-gold a ‘variable’ out of my getting younger now, every time Holy Spirit welcomes me inside, where eternal youth commands, all kinder feeling empathic Mountain Top kindergarteners.

Money, Holy Spirit, my soul, kinder feeling empath, forgiveness, my Conscience, compassion, Mercy, my Inner Child Spirit, eternal youth, the willingness to face outside Blackmail with a new motive to serve, with the, very “Love” that I have to admit, all these Wonderful gifts from within nurturing, that replaces any more outside need for what, best can be defined as needy-ransom soul-selling Blackmail=Burnout.

Inner-Child Spirit Safe-Home, within
author Pine Cone

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