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Monday, May 8, 2017

Spirituality with Pine Cone: Hey Hey Hey Oneness Wondering

How can either divisive gender motive be half a Divine Bee, when the other half a Bee is, not any more Divine, than what’s not a bee at all?

I seem to be at another Dark Night of the Soul, choosing between Gender-free Spirit ONENESS Conscience, and forgetting about “To err is human, to forgive, Divine”?

After decades mentoring thousands of lost souls, as soon as most surrendered to admit gender can’t forgive, the Divine can, and I will let Divinity do the other gender, as myself forgiveness for me, I withdrew when I realized the motive of most in recovery went right back into the Duality Physical Karma with a vengeance, to get it right this time.

I contemplated how, that after suffering through so much, there has to be something better than going, right back into this same Duality Paradigm, as if that’s, all there is to look forward to here. What occurs to my new mind of Delight is, that a Spiritual Paradigm will, hardly include anything from this Karmic experience, including, gender, and especially any Physical-roles at all not needed, not wanted, and not possible.

All were beginning recovery in suffering denial torturous separation shame, as if anyone can live in a bubble of Duality-glamor in the same dysfunctional support group, that brought the whole Family down to it’s arrogant-unused Prayer-knees. What’s the point of going through so many painful letting go’s, and then go right back at it, as if Dualism sick-loyalty wouldn’t fail again.

Family narcissists perceived the others as objects, not human beings with feelings at all, so these bullies acted like it was OK to sacrifice others, as long as they could continue floating above in an exclusive bubble of Denial-glamor. The half of us that, really surrendered to gender-free Spirit, discovered the only way to become safe from Family-narcissists was to withdraw as far away as any family black-sheep has to.

This successful half got physically safe, but their emotional fear of the Family Narcissist co-created the same family replications, that beat them down into a coldhearted object-submission again. But this time I was fully apprised of my Karmic Parent/Child Triangulation ISIS victim role Blackmail-terror, so I was careful enough to surrender, even more to Gender-free Holy Spirit, as ONENESS Spirit Conscience trusting “To err is human, to forgive, Divine”.

There were religious-gang infiltrators that curmudgeon-ed our vulnerable groups, that tried to kill me, just like my Parents did, so this, also helped me wanna stop setting up others to their malevolent censuring behaviors. I learned a similar phenomenon helping suicidal teens in dysfunctional families, where I refused to set up the child-victim to become more alive and vulnerable, and expect them to survive back at home, without drastic family supportive changes happening along with the new young Whole Spirit Bee.

After a couple decades of this unsettling recovery work, I surrendered to sex-abuse recovery, and after many years later, my MPD work has become my Soul Salvation, that completely depends on a New Spiritual Paradigm, imagining everything must be different if it, really is a New ONENESS Spirit Compassion Conscience gender-free, Karmic-free Paradigm. Recovery work depends on being honest about what seems normal-crap here, and then, not denying I am the fox in the hen pen, that makes it impossible for me to burst my own Bubble of Denial-glamor.

After the first few months of long-ago recovery, I remember trusting myself with, no more need to fit in the Collective Denial-glamor narcissist Consciousness, that made minced meat out of the meek to Spirit, as if I were trying to free myself of our Prison-gang social-norm Mafia. Many sex-abuse survivors didn’t survive their own suicide, because they were never asked “To surrender to admit gender can’t forgive, the Divine can, and I will let Divinity do the gender forgiveness for me”.

Letting go of family, friends, and moving on the average every few months, complimented my 50 jobs, with more then 50 homes, and I made it through homelessness(withdrawing) many times, as long as I kept experiencing continual forgiveness miracles in devotion to gender-free Divinity without any scary need to remain stuck in Karmic Physical-roles. I see it’s real positive to repent my physical frailties, so while I am, actually not pretending everything is hunky dory, others may see my deep focus on ONENESS Spirit Conscience, as a threat to their suicidal self-serving gender-need to float above in that ole Denial-glamor Paradigm that is, still killing their interconnectivity to a completely new gender-free Divine Spirit-kind Crystalline Paradigm.

The religious infiltrators depended on using gender differences to, never recover alive, right when we needed to let go of this Divisive Paradigm altogether, and even after all I have gone through, I am willing to let go of Divinity, if there is anything at all Divine about, either suffering Karmic-divisive deadly Gender-clamor. How can a survivor like me trust when a female channels higher light beings, that their self-serving Mother-motives aren’t as suicidal as what the Virgin Mother Romans used to kill off a few, who also were as MPD as any woman, barely surviving on this so called ‘divine’ Sex-usury Gender-bias anomaly Predator Planet?

I like to imagine any question about what’s Divine won’t, even include any gender self-serving agendas, but I have to question my devotion to Spirit once in a while because, until we get to experience a new Transformative Spiritual Paradigm, I don’t want to give myself away to any more tangential divisive-intentioned anomalies. I see many others stuck on themselves as helpers, and their perspective is what holds them back from Humility any more, so those seem like pinched nerve ‘sticks in their, own Mudd', without daring to be themselves, so other pinched nerve hostages won’t ever be allowed to be themselves either.

I forget others are, so used to fan base motives, that most wouldn’t say ‘gender-free’ if their Spirit was full of it, so I have to remember everything that comes from Holy Spirit may seem unkind to others, still stuck on their fear-survival gender-motives for more popular homicidal Power-over suicidal “Objects”. I don’t now what the Hell all this is about, and Wonder if anyone knows what I am talking about, and this is a time for me to Faith~trust, it’s OK to be different, and maybe, even better to trust what others have taught me by direct suicidal experience, as bad Divine-gender Oxymoron examples may, still be my best Spiritual Paradigm lesson.

Pine Cone Trusting
I am enough inside

About the Author


I “Love” to Admit it 11/22/16

I “Love" to admit it, but I have been captivated by the constant Blackmail battering of this Child-sacrificing malevolent World, so that I ‘want’ to surrender to Holy Spirit, by turning within, as a new humble priority. Sex-slavery robbed me of my soul, as a child, yet once I realized everything difficult, that happens enhances my devotion to turn even, more within ONENESS Spirit Conscience forgiveness nurturing, instead.

I fought like Hell to work, very hard for Money to, barely survive, but after a few years of meditation, and forgiveness prayers to Holy Spirit, to do the difficult forgiveness of others, as myself, more money came to me from Spirit, right through other benevolent Sources, than I ever, even knew about, before surrender. I “Love” to admit that Money doesn’t come from hard work, or social-norm Blackmail, but comes from Source, just like everything else, we need to ‘thrive’, instead of, ‘barely survive’ in addiction to this Child-sacrificing malevolent World.

After losing connection to my, own Conscience, I have become a kinder feeling empath, and a constant seeming mistaken threat to others suffering, just like me, before I sat down, closed my eyes, and meditated my suffering ass off. Like kindness comes from within Spirit devotion, so too, does being able to feel again, without letting those ephemeral duties control my reactive behaviors any more. Money, kindness, and feelings come from turning within, to ask for help to forgive all my captors that, still suffer much tortuous regret for forcing me, to do things out of fear, that no Child would, ordinarily want to do.

After annihilation traumas of the lower fourth dimensional ‘murky unkind’, everything outside triggered my reaction to live in the past swamp, ‘as if’, so, as I became more addicted to the outside Illusion of, more fear piled up onto, more traumas, I “Love” to admit that, with a gift of desperation, I became a, very willing candidate to surrender to something else, besides this unholy smelling foul-World of sulfur-predator crap. Now I see, all suffering evidence, as a gift from ONENESS to have compassion, and Mercy for, all who, still haven’t turned within to receive Money out of nowhere, and become a kinder feeling person, instead.

I am more sensitive to Blackmail than I have, ever realized, and even that’s a gift now, because I used to blame myself, ‘as if’, all evil was my fault, but NOTHING can, ever be further from the Truth. I was a beautiful innocent Child, and I, still am, inside, no matter what I used to think, and no matter what constant Blackmail, still wants to make me feel that lost-soul way. Blackmail is a constant battering here in Karmic Hologram miming-mirror Earth Paradigm, and who knew; before I turned within, where enlightening compassion makes me feel like a ‘kind kid’ with pocket treasures full of Sparkling Golden innocent-kaleidoscope perceptions again?

When I surrendered to Holy Spirit, Money was the furthest thing from my new mind of Delight, and I, certainly was convinced, that I would, never become a kinder feeling empath, ever again. Getting old had become a ‘given’, but turning within has made, even gettin-gold a ‘variable’ out of my getting younger now, every time Holy Spirit welcomes me inside, where eternal youth commands, all kinder feeling empathic Mountain Top kindergarteners.

Money, Holy Spirit, my soul, kinder feeling empath, forgiveness, my Conscience, compassion, Mercy, my Inner Child Spirit, eternal youth, the willingness to face outside Blackmail with a new motive to serve, with the, very “Love” that I have to admit, all these Wonderful gifts from within nurturing, that replaces any more outside need for what, best can be defined as needy-ransom soul-selling Blackmail=Burnout.

Inner-Child Spirit Safe-Home, within
author Pine Cone

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