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Restored Republic via a GCR: Update as of Jan. 21 2019 Compiled 21 Jan. 12:01 am EST by Judy Byington, MSW, LCSW, ret. CEO, Child Abuse Re...

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Pine Cone within Holy Spirituality: Earth Mother Replication Hawaii Trigger

I Thank God - Rhema Marvanne

https://youtu.be/jw6j0xp3uJw



Earth is my Home, and I really care about everyone on it, so as a feeling sensitive, just knowing the genocidal motive to kill anyone on Earth is triggering my family of origin continual homicidal terror experiences.

It is so soul shaming to hear what the Deep State just did to bomb Hawaii, and even more toxic to hear they, already had their lies ready to feed us so we would never hear the truth, like 911, Benghazi, Haiti, omniscient Cannibalism, and now Hawaii. My parents did the Sam kind of damage control too, and hey looked so good in our town on the outside, but living in that awful family, like living on Mother Earth still, just about takes the cake(my Mojo)

"CLICK" (12 Years Ago Happening Big Time all over again)

I'm angry, and enraged at my Mother for using me as a sex slave under the threat of annihilation, which terrorizes me to the day. I' in so much pain, not the kind I can localize and put a band aid on, but he bone chilling soul kind of pain, that is cellular all over pain. I have so much shame, I blame myself every day for taking space, and I wish I would disappear because I'm so hideous. All this has turned to more than an occasional cynicism; I can seethe with narcissistic self- loathing, project this hate out onto others, and actually believe others are Evil and coldhearted, like my MOM. I'm a person, a human being, and I have feelings about what happened and these are them: rage, terror, lightening storm pain, and pathetic disgust.

I remember in college reading about "The middle child" and seriously thought that explained my problems; and that was the start of my lifelong inner search for my truth, like my "Journey to the Center of the Earth. On the way to God in the Center, I discovered both my parents were alcoholic narcissists, sociopaths, cold hearted dragons, and my "father" was really my step-father, which made me a bastard second class citizen, where my "Brothers" we're really my half-brothers, and the family secret was I didn't belong. I sobbed and howled in pain when I saw how blacks were treated in our County Inc. in Life Magazine when I was 15 years old. I had no conscious awareness of my family prejudice against me, but 40 Near Death Experiences helped me identify with our black sex-slave genocide.

I have been in serious recovery for 23(now 35) years: MA in Holistic Studies and Healing Arts, self help groups, therapy, Yoga, therapist myself, communication and meditation teacher, Siddha Yoga devotee(now an Osho Sannyasin), and a full time monk and mystic. All this helps but nothing on Earth has changed the same Mother problems, or my deep inside feelings, so "Click", I surrender completely to God and trust that absolute unborn infinity will help me with this continuing lifelong problem, and Holy Spirit I' asking for help to forgive, and replace my fear with Faith and enlightening compassion. I have not found one kind thing in my W,old of nasty projection, that will help me. By the time "I" got to every situation, my childhood Mother-replication was there like a Monster to greet me, so I'm turning completely inside for God's help, and I hear a 'click' sound, like "Duh" how come it took me so long.

I heard another 'click' In movies where someone pulled the Hawaiian trigger on an almost dead victim, when Galactics shot down the Deep State bomb, and that click is still in my little boy-slave head solid like gun metal, when my Mother changed her mind from killing me, as long as I would comply with censure-silence. In the movies, after the click the supposed victim acts differently, like they really don' trust the others motive any more, and all Hell breaks loose in exponential melodrama. I am, still terrified to feel those minutes, while my Mother was killing me, and then 'click', simply changed her psychotic mind.

My lifetime exploration for sanity and Faith, and my strenuous and thorough path of Self-discovery has made me somewhat of an expert on abuse and Spirituality, and. Want to share that we are in a Dark period on this Ascension Earth. I've learned about the Satanic Child sac rice and the continual genocide f innocent indigenous people right here among us, as I was par f my murderous family, and I, really believe this is not my projecting. We are so traumatized and don't realize it, and I suggest anyone who wants to and believes enough, will 'click' turn into our God, within, who is at the causal level of the fear-driven outside World.

"Please God help me forgive MOM, and everything and everyone in, and of this World, and come Holy Spirit to help me forgive, because I can't do I by myself" ...'click', send...

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