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Restored Republic via a GCR: Update as of Nov. 19, 2018 Compiled 19 Nov. 12:01 am EST by Judy Byington, MSW, LCSW, ret. CEO, Child Abuse R...

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Holy Spirituality within Pine Cone: Repenting Resentment Torture


I loved our child, even more than I loved my husband, and the last thing I want to hear is, that now I project my-codependent self-hate narcissism for our beautiful child out onto everyone else, and especially my mirror-double codependent husband, that now, even hates his impotent-sight of me. Where, oh wail~where did I fail? No other demon puts me to distraction haste-addiction, more than my having to hide my hate, so bad that I dress it up in the worst deceitful wiles, that my child, actually enjoys watching me suffer, the more I try to hate-hide my personal Love-torture fail.

How can Loving too much betray our family trust, and when did resentment become our best addiction-tell to enjoy harming each other so? What other name, but Love torture-fail defines Earth-hate best, except the way some Mothers hate-hard, but the ones like mine made me Love my addiction to hating her back, as punishment for us both. OMG that must have been when I became her sex-slave; her little-man Hate-tortured in the prison bars of my, own self-hate codependent Toxic-shame?

A new vision~prayed came to feel, actually feel how it feels to first hear another speak clearly about my resentment as a Mother, trying too hard to Love a child, so my intent is, not to diss the Mother-role, but to allay any guilt a Mother holds onto as if it’s, all her fault for the ruination of her unloving family. As we shower addictive guilt-gifts onto our finest Earth Hate Matrix Physical-role first-entrapment, I want to include compassion for those addicted children like me, that couldn’t stand being a Mother’s Hate-patsy, while she made believe she was the best, and that I had better learn to ‘love’ it, or else.

Even though this vulnerable forgiving repentance is, very difficult for me, I wouldn’t be able to, even begin to admit my Mother-hate codependent-dilemma if Holy Spirit Nurturing hadn’t, already helped me experience Mother-forgiveness miracles working through, and for me, to enlighten enough compassion, to Unify Mother/Child lifetimes Mercy for all family triangulations enforced by the Khazarian evil Satanic elite Mafia Child-sacrifice, that ruins all Macro-nations as the Mother-role model for micro-families on Hate Earth resentment running xenophobic Killer-mudd madd Collective Crazy-ass Satanic ISIS triangulation Matrix Vatican/Crown/DC Bigotry-stinking effed.

It’s not anyone’s fault that we, all hate each other, as the sex-slave role defines the Karmic dissonance that is the, very physical role-reversal Creation Evil Motive, that codependent Mothers hate to hear about the most, according to my vision to help me have compassion, finally for the Mother-roles I was, am, and will remain addicted to on Mothers Guilt Gift-giving every Child-helpless Repenting Resentment Torture Mother’s Day sex-slave celebration. OMG that’s what Mothers are, perhaps, is the role of sex-slave, that transforms her sex-slave child-clones into Mother Earth-hate prisoners, just like, all of us in denial of resentment Earth-hate torture?

My Mother acted like she owned me in a codependent addiction to hate-people just like she pleased everyone’s guilt-need appeasement for more punishment, so how can anyone blame a Mother for trying to do the impossible on Earth-hate Matrix Death-paradigm, and better yet how can we blame her child for giving Mother his ‘all’, if for no other reason than to prove to the World there is no such thing as Loving a child, even more than a ‘good’ Mother can Love herself, even more than her Karmic-hate Mother did?

While most are saying the best things about their Mothers today, I want to thank Hoy Spirit for this vision to remind me how hard it is to admit I have so much resentment for my child, that my emerging self-hate is what made me, never be able to Love anyone, ever again and, especially my husband mirror-double, that can’t possibly turn each other on any more, so NO THANK YOU, very much Khazarian Mafia Satanic-elite A-holiness ISIS family triangulation Child-sacrifice International Proxy-war Bankster Mother/Child ex-father torture Source! “Oh where did I fail? Wail Matrix-raged poor Mom’s continual mantra…

Little did I realize that this Vision would become another platform to express how we, all can stop blaming each other, and turn within to Spirit Sovereign Singularity at Love~Central, that proves not many have experienced yet, now, not Repenting Resentment Earth Torture Mother-hate Vision~doesn’t it? My Mother Matrix-agent is my Child-perspective memory, even toady, so now we, all can see how I was raped, and murdered, to put me out of ‘her’ Hate Matrix-misery, and maybe others can remember those moments alone with her, Precious Earth stink-eye Child-sacrifice resentful codependent mirror-double motives?

Agent Smith's speech of hate from the Matrix

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